Not on the list- and totally wonderful! An engraved chopping board from some neighbours
The subject of wedding gifts and lists can be a slightly tricky one. Even within british culture, opinions on gift etiquette vary. Lately I’ve noticed a few ‘wedding list’ and ‘wedding gift’ questions floating round on twitter, so I thought I’d share some thoughts and experience.
Deciding on a list can be hard because on the one hand, you are just delighted that people are making the effort to come in the first place (for some, it can be a huge cost already if they have to travel to come to the wedding) and so you don’t want people to feel obliged. On the other hand, if you dont make a list of things that you want/need (especially if like us you are genuinely setting up home) then you could end up with multiple salad bowls, mismatched linen, and non of the things you really need- not to mention the flowery coasters your great aunt thinks are ‘so sweet’ that will stay in a drawer for eternity.
There are plenty of gift list options for the modern couple- some, such as thebottomdrawer.co.uk offer an online service that allows you to pick gifts from multiple suppliers, and includes the option of honeymoon gifts or non-traditional gifts like getting your garden a make-over.
In the end though, since we didn’t even have pans or plates or duvet covers to start our home with, we opted for a simple list from John Lewis, which meant the joy of seeing stuff in person and scanning what we wanted (such fun!). It also meant that the less internet savvy of our guests would also be able to pop into a store rather than have to order online.
I have to say, we were bowled over with how generous our friends and family were- we ended up adding to the list, and even then everything was bought, giving us an amazing start to our home.
My top tips for wedding lists would be:
- Think about what you genuinely need- get a list format that suits you. Do you want some things (eg suitcases) before the wedding? Make sure your list supplier can do that.
- Think about your guests- have a range of items at varying prices. Remember some people have spent lots just getting to your wedding and cant afford much more, whereas some people (especially family members) may want to get you something really special.
- Try to keep things as simple as possible for both you and the guests.
- Also- with that number of gifts, there are bound to be some things that break/ don’t work. Make sure you can take things back if needed.
- Say Thank you! (I’ll be blogging on this topic soon)
And finally, even with a list some people will probably want to get you something different. Here’s one of the ‘sweetest; gifts that we recieved- mostly because it was completely unlooked for and showed a lot of thought:
From my work colleagues: sweet art! Our initials in M&Ms with a collage from our service sheet around the edge. Very touched by the thought that went into this!